Chiropracitc kids are 'well-adjusted'

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• God's view of Childbirth
  Have you ever wondered what God thought of childbirth? This article from spirit-led childbrith explains. Read and enjoy!
• Ear Infections: What can you do?
  Dr. Sears, a renowed pediatician, gives parents helpful advice. Click on the title to learn more!
• PAUSE
  Take time to PAUSE each day! P: Pray for your children daily. A: Actions speak louder than words U: Use words that lead to positive action rather than codemnation. S: See your child as a work in progress/Show them what to do rather than just telling them what to do. E: Encourage your child. Catch them doing something right. R. Renkel writes, "Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritnace." PAUSE each day and leave your children a great inhertiance!

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Natural Remedy for Colic

FENNEL TEA

1 Tablespoon Fennel Seed

1 Cup Water

Add Fennel seed to boiling water. Remove from heat and cover. Allow to steep for 20 minutes. Strain fennel seed and throw away. Allow fennel tea to cool to room temperature. Give 2-3 teaspoons for fennel tea to infant (a dropper works best). One batch of fennel tea can be kept up to 5 days if refridgerated.

Why should children have chiropractic?

More and more parents are seeking chiropractic care for their children. Many spinal problems seen in adults began as early as birth. Even so called 'natural' birthing methods can stress an infant's spine and developing nerve system. The resulting irritation can be the cause of many newborn health complaints. Colic, breathing problems, nursing difficulties, sleep disturbances, allergic reactions and chronic infections can often be traced to stressful births.

Since significant spinal and cranial trauma can occur at birth, many parents have their newborns checked right after birth. As the infant grows, learning to hold up the head, sitting, crawling and initial walking stages are all times in spinal development where injury may occur and therefore spinal alignment can be adversely affected. They are therefore important times to have a child checked by a Doctor of Chiropractic.

As the child begins to participate in regular childhood activities like skating or riding a bike and experiences traumas associated with these activities, small dysfunctions can occur.  If neglected, the injuries during this period of rapid growth may lead to more serious problems later in life. Subtle trauma throughout childhood may affect the future development of the spine leading to impaired nervous system function. Any interference to the vital nerve system will adversely affect the body's ability to function at its best.

One of the most common reason parents seek care for their child is trauma from an injury of some sort. These may or may not result in immediate pain or symptoms. A chiropractic visit can identify potential injury from these traumas, make the correction early in life and help avoid many of the health complaints seen later in adults.

Another sought out reason for care is the resolution of a particular symptom or condition. Parents seek care for conditions such as colic, ear infections, asthma, allergies and headaches (to name a few) because they have heard from other parents that chiropractic care can help.

It is important to understand that the doctor of chiropractic does not treat conditions or diseases. The expertise of the chiropractor is in checking the child's spine for any problems that have arose or may arise therefore affecting overall body function.

The doctor of chiropractic will take a case history and perform a chiropractic exam to determine if any problems exist. Chiropractic adjusting procedures are modified to fit a child's size, weight, and unique spinal condition. They are both gentle and specific to the child's developing spinal structures. Most parents report that their children enjoy their chiropractic adjustments and look forward to subsequent visits. They also report that their children experience a greater level of health while under regular chiropractic care. (modified, J. Ohm, DC)

We choose to parent

We choose to parent came about per a conversation my wife and I had with dear friends, Luis and Crystal Munoz (not parents yet). We chatted with them for some time one night about parenting, about marriage, about a host of things. A couple of days later, Luis tells me he can-not stop thinking of what Jennifer said in the midst of our conversation. I had no idea what it was so I asked. Luis replied, "Jen stated, that we choose to parent." Luis then explains how he has never thought about it that way; that many times, He and others put more "research hours" into choosing a car or cell phone than they do thinking about giving birth or even parenting. And why would we not think that we have to choose to parent when everything else in life is what we choose to do or not to do. Once Luis told me this, we discussed it further but it really got me thinking about how we (jennifer and I) have chosen to parent and why?

Let me start off by stating, I do not pretend to be an expert about parenting. This is not about me telling you how you should do it but giving you my experience which in turn may help yours.  I have 2 boys, 4 yoa and 18 months. I know I have much to learn and I look forward to learning even though many other parents say enjoy the stage jennifer and I find ourselves b/c parenting does not get any easier; it just changes. And just like with any other relationship, parenting changes, grows, has some set-backs and adapts always teaching us and our children. Something I also do not pretend to know the depth or intensity of commitment is single parenting. Where I think some of what I write will apply, I also know that single parents have a set of struggles and challenges that are beyond my experience. Whereas I applaud all parents for choosing to parent,  I truly admire and wish to encourage single parents that choose to parent. And if you are married, please love your spouse well. As  a Father, I encourage you to love your wife well so your son and daughter know what it means to love a woman well. As a man, this does not mean you do it perfectly but it means you give it all you have. And when you get it wrong, you say I am sorry and ask for forgiveness. As a wife, Jen would say, let your children see you loving and respecting your husband. Let them know you are for your husband. And as a married couple, be on the same team because a  house divided cannot stand.

With that, I will jump into the 4 foundational principles that Jennifer and I use for our parenting style. But before I do that, I offer a wise thought our mentor couple gave us. They said, "If you have good, foundational principles, many formulas will work." Meaning this, our parenting style (formula if you will) may, and most likely is, different than yours but that is ok.  Though there is much pressure to conform to one particular parenting theory; the beauty is that; there is freedom of choice to choose one, both, many, neither, none or any combination in-between. But we must ask ourselves as parents: What are our foundational principles?

For jennifer and I, we first decided to talk about what we would want our children to be able to express about our family. If someone asked our children, "What is the Bryson family about?" -- we wanted them to be able to give an answer that was more than just words but something that Jennifer an I not only believed in but are trying to model. What we decided upon was that the Bryson family is:  to build….to restore…to prosper! Meaning, we are not only to  build each other up as a couple but build our children up with love and respect, but also build up those around us -- we are to restore those moments in our lives that have been stolen or destroyed by past hurts and seek restoration in all instances -- we are to prosper in all that we do -- whether or not it looks like success in the world's eyes and as we do.,  we are to help others prosper. So, with that knowledge: At the most basic level of our parenting, Jen and I have defined our principles as:

1.       Proximity --defined as : The state, quality, sense, or fact of being near or next; closeness. Proximity is being close in person but also in heart reality (mind, body, spirit) -- being there for our children when we are with them no matter at home or other place; letting them know we are close and not allowing our mind to  wonder to work, hobby, etc…

2.       Availability -- defined as: present and ready for use; accessible, capable of being gotten. Being available means being able to be contacted by your kids -- being available means many times being at home but also when unable; making sure they know you are available. I also think this means being available even if we have something we think ‘or more importance'

3.       Responsiveness -- defined as: answering or responding; readily responding to influences. Being responsive means to not be dull nor deaf -- being responsiven means to listen and act -- being responsive means to no neglect a kid's call for attention- being responsive is to guard your children's heart

4.       Sensitivity -- defined as: the ability to respond to stimuli; the degree of response. Being sensitive is being aware of your child's needs -- being sensitive is knowing when to say yes and when to say no -- being sensitive is being aware or when to step in and when to back off - being sensitive is helping our children be ok with who they are. But as a Father, being sensitive meant to me to be engaged and ‘attached' from the start of the pregnancy not waiting until the toddler years to enjoy my child.

This is the four foundational principles we have adopted. I would not be truthful if I were to tell you that we do not adhere to more of the attachment theory of parenting. This does not mean this theory is correct or the best for each family b/c we have close friends who use a more -- well, what would be termed ‘a scheduled model/theory' and it works well for them. And we have yet other friends that use a combo. And you know what -- they all work for the families that use them. Again, what is the underlying principle of the formula being used. If the principles are broken; the formula may also  be broken. However, since  we gravitate toward the attachment theory; I will mention what Dr. Sears terms, "The 7 B's of Attachment" -- They are (1) Bonding at Birth (2) Breastfeeding (3) Baby wearing (4) Bedding close to baby (not necessarily in same bed) (5) Belief in value of responding to baby's cry (6) Beware of baby trainers (meaning all advice is not good advice) (7) Balance for parents and children. These 7 B's are not a set of rules but rather an approach that incorporates the four foundational principles I listed above. I have had a parent ask me, ‘What if I do not use all 7 B's, does that mean I am not attached to my children?' My answer is of course not! Maybe one of them does not fit with a foundational principle you have or maybe one of the seven is unable to be done for physical, mental or emotional reasons.  For Jennifer and I, we have decided to have a home-birth, breast-feed, wear our children, bed-share both boys, have a belief to respond to our children's cries but realize that a cry for a 4 yr old is different than a cry of an infant (i.e temper-tantrum, etc..), have chosen to allow certain couples to speak into our marriage and parenting but also realize we have gotten more advice than ever thought possible on how we should or should not parent and are ever trying to learn the balance of being married, being parents and business owners. Furthermore, we realize that attachment is important for the reason L. Porter describes in Mothering Magazine, "Our attachment style and patterns are grounded in our first experiences, namely those primary relationships of our first years of life. All babies attach to their caregivers, regardless of parenting choice or style. In a very real sense, all parents practice attachment parenting: Attachment is always taking place, and all parenting is a central component of the creation of attachment. It is a question of what kind of attachment we're talking about, and how healthy that bond is. Without bonding, babies fail to thrive, or even risk death. Attachment is a biological necessity that stems from the reliance of immature infants on their caregivers for protection, advantage, and basic survival. Attachment security in infancy is associated with healthy, mutually satisfying relationships, optimal cognitive functioning, and emotional and behavioral management later in life. Secure attachment relationships are marked by a mutual bond in which the mother or other caregiver shapes infant development through her interactions and relationship with her child. These relationships allow for the formation of an "internal working model" that functions as a template by which babies can gauge their own emotions and those of others. The hallmarks of attachment security are proximity, availability, responsiveness, and sensitivity; hence, it is not just the presence of the parent, but the quality of the parental response, and the parent's emotional availability and sensitivity to the baby's communication, that form the heart of a child's security. When a baby is cared for in this wholly sensitive way, a secure relationship will likely develop and form a foundation of health to underpin the child's entire life"

Besides having foundational principles that guide (not dictate) parenting; another important area to look at is Family Systems. Trying to understand our parenting style through the Family system lens takes into account not only how I was parented but also how my spouse was parented. Family systems also realize that no individual member of the family can be separated from the whole. Thus, as jennifer and I started to realize we were parented in similar ways in some area, we also had to come to grips with the fact that other areas were in sharp contrast. Now how would we apply the family system we came from  and create our own Family system. In order to this  we have to evaluate whether we duplicate, react or differentiate. The questions that jen and I have ask and I am sure we will continue to ask are: (1) Do we duplicate (good and/or bad) patterns that we were raised with? (2) Is this parenting moment a reaction to how we were raised or something that affected me in my childhood? (3) Are we learning to differentiate between how we were raised from how we would like to raise our children and/or are we able to look at our upbringing and truly discern what was ‘good and bad' and from that knowledge, apply it to our parenting. As we dive into the family system, we know this will also help with not only parenting but also every other relationship that revolves around the family.

Once foundational principles are identified, once family systems are talked about; a point to consider (if not the starting point) is: what is the ultimate goal of parenting. And as with anything in life, If you know the goal or a desired destination; the journey seems less confusing and many times more enjoyable. For Jen and I, the ultimate goal of parenting is two-fold: (1) Realize we are raising adults not children (2) Realize we are stewards of a precious soul that God has blessed us with. Now let me expound on this.  As a mentor told me, you reap what you sow. Therefore, we want to sow seeds of  love in our children's lives that in return will reap a harvest in their adult years.  I recognize that one of the potential hazards, if you will, of attachment parenting/theory, is that the child becomes the center of the universe. While at some level, this has to be the case when they are small. We desire our children to know that the world not does revolve around them. Simply, that it is ‘not all about me.' Herein lies the balance of parenting; we so much want/desire our children to know, recognize and feel loved but once this loved is recognized, not to assume it is just for them. This love they know then needs to be poured out to other family members, friends and others they touch in their life. You see, it is one thing to know you are loved but it is quite another to be able to give that love away. Jennifer and I see this no different than the relationship Christ has with us. He freely loves us and in a real sense it is ‘just for me;' however, that love is not to be kept hidden or all to myself; it is to be freely shared and given away. Thus, we desire to teach and model this to our children. And hopefully by doing so; our children will become healthy, balance adults who are able to receive & give love. But, Jennifer and I are not naïve enough to know that our children will make their own choices and have their own free will.  That is the beauty of relationships, whether with Christ, each other or our children, we have a choice -- a choice to choose love. And with that, we choose:  "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (Deu. 6:5-9)

Lastly, Jennifer and I have come to realize that parenting is an ever-growing and changing relationship. We are also realizing that we were just plain ignorant and prideful on certain things. For instance, we love wearing our children and thus we said we would never carry our child in a car-seat. Thus, this lead us not to buy a car-seat that was able to be carried from the car. So, our child would be asleep in the car and we would stop to run an errand or whatever; we would have to take our child out of the car seat and put them into the sling which woke them up and many times caused them to cry. Very soon (or actually not soon enough), we realized and it was pointed out that we should buy a different car seat that if sleeping, they could remain in but once awake we could take them out. This is just one brief example of how we ‘had our mind made up" -- how we reacted to what we saw around us but by allowing ourselves the freedom to change and by allowing others to speak into our life, we found balance for our family. And so we pray the same for your family -- that you will understand what your foundational principles are -- that you can look at your Family system and know if you are duplicating, reacting or differentiating -- that you home would be filled with love and that you children would not be only taught this love but that this love would be demonstrated in and out of your home -- and finally, that you would direct your children to the heart as R. Baxter points out," See that your chief study be about your heart, that there God's image may be planted, and His interest advanced…that love…succeed."  

Parenting tips that have made an impact on Jennifer and I:

1.       Each day when you get up, you have a choice: choose to love -- choose to overlook -- choose to forgive -- choose to parent.

2.       Be a parent not the coach. Your kids have enough coaches. They need a parent.

3.       Enjoy each stage of your child's life; the stage is over and they are grown before you know it.

4.       Parent so you have no regret realizing that you reap what you sow.

5.       Older moms speaking to Jennifer remind her to "hold those babies as much as you can b/c soon they will too big or not want to be held."

6.       Guard your child's heart. Protect their innocence.

7.       Learn to say, "I was wrong' and "I am sorry"

8.       Discipline must be for teaching not just punishment. And recognize, what positive discipline technique that worked for one child, may not work for the rest

9.       Take every opportunity to be a teaching moment.

10.    Let you kid be a kid; they have the rest of their live to be an adult. Meaning do not overwhelm your children with activities(i.e. sports, dance, etc..) that replace authentic relationships or create a goal-driven, achievement mentalities

11.    Limit the number of potential No's

12.    Let your children see you talking to, enjoying and loving your spouse

13.    You cannot build your child's character in the fast lane. Meaning as we rush from this event to that event; we lose an important component of family -- intentionality & time.